You're my favorite nemesis.
Every time you tell me how much you hate me, it only inspires me to make you laugh louder and longer. Each morning, you wake with your head full of plans to incite my ire. Do your worst, I tell you, bring on the fiercest assault you can muster. Confidence is my shield, wit my sword and scabbard, and you are easy prey.

You're laughing right now.